Ugly
by zeurin
Summary: Annie's thoughts and musings on herself, her appearance, and what never could have been in the last seconds of her fight with Eren. One-shot with spoilers. Slight AnniexEren.


Hey everyone! So I'm not sure where this came from, but I've always been intrigued by Annie's character. There's just something about her that tugs on my heart strings. And I know it's not canon, but I've always had this feeling that there might have been something between Annie and Eren.

Anyways, this is a one-shot with major spoilers for the whole anime and up to I think chapter 33 of the manga.

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Annie is not a pretty girl.

She knew that as soon as she learned what it meant to be pretty. When she looks in the mirror, she sees a hooked nose and bulgy eyes that are too big to be attractive. Her face is hard and apathetic with cold eyes and thin lips. Maybe if she smiled more- a maidenly flush could brighten up the harsh angles of her face. And all that shiny blonde hair could distract from the asymmetry of her features.

But Annie is not the type of girl to smile. She can't even remember the last time she'd smiled. There has been little cause for her to smile her whole life. Positive emotions are a foreign concept to her.

To any other girl, the knowledge of her unattractiveness would be a matter of grave concern. To Annie, it is of little to no concern. Her whole life is bloodshed and fighting. She doesn't give appearance a second thought, of hers or anyone else's. That is, until she meets him.

Eren Jaeger is beautiful. It's obvious from the moment she first sets eyes on him. There's perfect symmetry in his straight eyebrows, high cheekbones, and understated nose. But what really hooks her attention are his eyes. His strange, yet hauntingly beautiful eyes that slant upward, catlike. The eyes that burn like emeralds in a burst of passion against Titans. Against her.

She still remembers the way he looked at her, eyebrows furrowed, mouth clenched, as he offered his hand to her at the mouth of the cavern. She remembers the desperate hope in those green eyes. It's so very different from the blazing hatred currently directed at her from his titan form.

Even as a titan, he is beautiful. All sculpted, lean muscle make up a perfect machine. He howls at her again, snapping his teeth inches away from her, and his teeth are perfect too. Rows of white sharpened to points and made for tearing flesh.

Annie has lost. She knows this by the way he's pressed his knees on either side of her chest, making escape impossible—a move that she'd taught him herself. And even if she could get away, where would she run? He is faster than her and stronger. She is lost. Everything that she has ever worked for in her life. Everything her father has cruelly, meticulously drilled into her. Lost.

She is ugly. The word finally seeps into her battle-torn, decaying skin that she would like nothing more than to rip out of. She is ugly and defeated and he is going to kill her. It is almost a relief.

She stares at him, and can almost see the boy within the monster. Maybe… if she had only taken his hand. If she followed him to the scout legion. If she had changed her mind and chosen to live for herself and not anyone else. Then maybe, just maybe, she could have had him.

She wonders, in the haze of pain and certain death, whether he could have ever loved her. She wonders if she could have been capable of feeling anything other than anger and hatred.

But then she remembers that she is ugly. Ugly and a monster with too much blood on her hands. She is the destruction of humanity.

So when he rips off her head and snaps his teeth at the sensitive nape of her neck, she builds a wall of crystal around her. Because all she has left are her secrets. As the darkness fills her vision from the suffocating lack of mobility, lack of oxygen, she stops dwelling on the what-ifs and what could have been.

She was born this way, and ugly is all she will ever be. She closes her eyes to the beauty of his viridian eyes looming above her and slips into the darkness.

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Reviews = love


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